On the edge of a cramp my belly craves chocolate and sugar which is surprisingly delivered at 8.30am in the glove box of my car as I return the driving sunglasses to their home. No breakfast at home and now artificial stimulation is glaringly there just as my willpower says “You’ve got to be kidding!” and promptly eats a row before I settle into five minutes of meditation. This is no clear space of light and clean with mindfulness sparkles gleaming out into the urban landscape. There has been no natural organic segue from sleepiness to waking alertness on my more traditional nine to five day. The trees and sunshine do their best to draw me back into the earthly realms as they wink and smile at me but part of me feels quite disconnected.
Part of this feeling is my reluctance to come back after a five day holiday that my Beloved and I took at the beginning of our house sit almost two weeks ago. So lovely to let go of the everyday world and especially the online one, a wonderful convenience but it does impact on our organic selves in ways that are not always helpful. The more sensitive I become in the world the more I notice when I’m not feeling connected to the natural world. It’s easy in modern society to sometimes forget that we are natural beings and that much of what creates happiness for us comes from inner resources. It isn’t so easy in front of a computer in an office to reconnect with that place so I tend to focus on my body as a doorway or bridge from one realm to another. When I arrive at the car park I consciously connect with the trees and the birds and if it’s too wet to sit for my meditation I at least spend a moment with my hand on the trunk of a tree.
And even then I can fall prey to unexpected windfalls of chocolate and get caught up in the concrete and steel, the humming of lines of energy, seen and unseen. So the first part of navigating days like this one are just about practicing mindfulness and not giving yourself a hard time when your actions are not always peaceful. If you notice sensations of disconnection then that may be a victory in and of itself! Even if you can’t seem to get back into the flow be grateful that your inner growth has fostered deeper understanding and the ability to see more clearly what is happening in your body, mind and spirit. If you persist with this process you will improve the quality of your life. I can say this with great certainty as this has been my experience so far, the more I bring awareness to me and to my life the happier I become overall.
But there always seem to be times of varying energy levels in life’s tapestry and the trick is to ride the waves whatever the speed, to wherever it is that life wants to take us to next! I for one would like to take a moment to thank Life for all that it brings to me and especially for the gift of my dear Beloved who brings a song into my heart every day in every way. Aho!
